Why dont i cum during sex ? Posted: 04-08-08 17:08pm
hi, i use to cum all the time during sex,
like 5 times each time, i always came when
my bf was on top, but i was raped, and now
when my when my bf is on top i think about
that everytime, so he really cant be on
top now, so he can never get me to cum
now, even when im on top, which i love, do
you have any suggestions to help us?
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Rosie H
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jun 2007 Posts: 1136 Location: Phoenix, AZ, USA
Thanks: 17
Thanked:7
Posted: 04-08-08 18:03pm
I know what you are going through. I had
serious issues with oral sex or anything
to do with my mouth and hands because I
was molested as a girl. My entire sex life
I never gave oral or touched a man until I
was 20. I ended up seeing a therapist and
that is what helped me.
I think that this might be what will help
you. There is a mental block that your
brain has created due to the trauma it
sufferred. We oursleves cant always break
through this block. Thats when someone
from the outside can help us. It could be
a priest, school counselor, but someone
that is equiped in unlocking that block. I
have found that no matter how safe my
partner made me feel I was still afraid.
It took a couple of months of therapy once
a week to finally overcome my fears, but I
am so glad I did it. The fear did not go
away immediately. it took a few months of
touching and trying oral sex at my pace to
enjoy it. That may be TMI but thats how I
overcame my fears and I am so much more
satisfied and so is my hubby.
Maybe this will help you. Please pm me any
time and please keep posting. I am here to
help.
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kellie01
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Apr 2008 Posts: 2
Posted: 04-08-08 22:58pm
Ty for your advice but i have tryed that
and it only made it worst, i started
having dreams again when i went so i
stopped going, so if you know of anything
else that i can do or my bf can do, please
tell me. Its makes him fell really bad
because he thinks that hes not doing his
job right so i want to get things back to
normal. ty for your help.
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the_fries_guy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Jun 2008 Posts: 7 Location: Danville, Virginia, the united states of america
Posted: 06-04-08 05:29am
have you tried telling him about what had
happened? i know it can be hard to talk
about, but it would fix his emotional
problems, and maybe some of your's...my
mom has been raped twice in her
life...once by a man, and once by a
woman...she shut off any sexual intamacy
after the man drugged and raped her....a
few months ago, my mom finally remembered
being raped by a 'friend' in
college...back in the 80's...she had a few
serious crying sessions about it, and i
was there for her...she'd had dreams about
it, but...if you want to conquer this, you
need to talk about it and resolve these
emotions, especially if you had just
buried them after it happened.
it might be painful to talk about, but it
needs to be done, trust me, i know from
the experience of having multi-hour long
talks with my mom on the subjects.
offering some help from a boyfriend's
perspective, and a rape victim's son's
perspective.
